I have always enjoyed “spring cleaning” so much, that I typically do it 3-4 times a year! Clean and organize closets, dresser drawers, oil/polish baseboards and crown moldings, handwashing seldom used Pyrex and Hall ceramic ware, wash windows, etc. It’s exhausting and exhilarating.
This year, however, spring cleaning has gone to a whole new level. As I’m cleaning, I’m also sorting through Mike’s clothing, collections and mementos determining what to keep, what to pass to family and what to sell.
It isn’t easy. Not because it’s sad, because it rarely is. It’s just so much! He enjoyed estate sales, but he loved auctions more. He seldom overpaid for anything – usually finding a great bargain. He would excitedly tell me how much an item was worth compared to what he paid…and I would say “Are you going to sell it?” (Secretly liking it as much as he and hoping he’d say no.) And when he would say no, then I’d tell him that it was only worth what he paid and pretend to be put out by his newest treasure. And that gave him even more delight! Truthfully, we both enjoyed his habit.
With the coronavirus lockdown, I am in an essential business but my hours are fewer, so my spring cleaning has made it through the house already. (Well, not the windows!)
I’ve found hidden treasure in his dresser, on the sunporch, in the basement and even in our kitchen. He liked jadeite and vaseline glass. I found several “new” pieces tucked behind displays that I know he was just waiting for me to find.
But now, I’m to the garage. His domain. He has never let me clean out there…and we’ve been in this house 15 years. Today, I plan to tackle one of his tool boxes. Yesterday, I did the workbench. The practical decisions are the easiest. I don’t need the roofing nailer. I do need a new roof, but I won’t be doing it! To the sale box. 35 screwdrivers. Duplicates, sale box. Valve grinding tools…sale box. (We just put a new small block in his ’47 Ford.) Tires and wheels for ’34 Ford…Dad says I need to buy a ’34 Ford for them to go on….but, I’m thinking sale stack, afterall I do need that roof….
Sometimes, I get caught up in soft, wonderful memories of watching him work and create. I found his drawing pad with sketches of ideas. Some were my ideas that he turned to reality. His ideas to build for us, for family. He had such talent! So smart.
But there is a practicality to what I have to do. It is absolutely true that you can’t take it with you. He’s gone and all this stuff is still here. Last fall, when we got the news that his heart and lungs were failing from all the years of chemotherapy, we had the opportunity to talk about difficult things. Practical things. Decisions I would need to make. Repairs to the house and garage that he hadn’t finished. What to sell and what to save for family. He knew that I’d need the proceeds of a sale. We planned it for this spring so he could help, but God planned differently. I’m a bit grateful for the current lockdown…it’s giving me precious time to sort, reflect and enjoy a task that with a normal schedule could be overwhelming. Putting things into a “sale stack” is fairly easy…because I know for now, they really aren’t going anywhere. I have some time to get used to letting go.
And so it goes. Ah, yes. Circling back to my title. I talked about the spring cleaning and touched a bit on gratitude, but want to end with more. I don’t think we can ever be grateful enough. I am not thankful for my loss, but I am ever thankful for all we had together. For his love for me, his tenderness, his faith, his family…for all the memories he left me with. I’m grateful for this slower schedule that I can sink into my thoughts and get distracted…not feel guilty for shirking other duties. All of these precious thoughts are God-given gifts. Grateful today for warm weather. For time at home. For Easter. For my Bible. For my church. My family. Overcome with a grateful heart. Have a blessed day – and share what you are grateful for in the midst of pandemic lockdown. Be kind, be safe. 😍
Be Still In Motion 